A few years ago if someone had asked me if I wanted to move to Texas I would and did say NO. I love Colorado! I grew up there. My family was there. All my friends were in Colorado. My boys were born in Colorado. I met my husband in Colorado. I got married in Colorado. The weather is great in Colorado. I could go on and on and on ... but alas, here I am in Texas. Happy. Content. Growing. Has it been challenging? Yes. Overwhelming? Yes. But, have I survived? YES! Are we better for it as a family?? ABSOLUTELY!
A few years ago, my friends mattered more to me than my husband. Their opinions held more weight than my husband's. A few years ago, I had family in Colorado. A few years ago, I let the situations and drama of my life, the friendships I held dear, dictate my self worth. They were where I found value and comfort and happiness.
Now, my grandfather has passed, my parents have divorced, my dad has moved out of state and my mom - well, she is still there and our relationship is healing. Something it was not in previous years. And many of the friendships that I held so dear have unraveled.
A year ago, this is where I would have spun off into a story of heartache, loneliness and bitterness. Thank God it is today and not yesterday!! A year ago, I began to change. I felt God working in my life. I knew that those friendships that had unraveled were His doing. His will for me! I knew that my grandfather had passed with little pain and quickly and that I could find blessing in that. I knew that God had other plans for my dad to heal that did not involve hanging around waiting for me.
But I still continued to ask why. Why was all this happening at once? Why did I hurt so bad? My 'why' questions were endless. Eventually, I started asking 'what.' What did I need to learn from this? What was God's plan to make good out of all of this? Then ... Anthony was offered this job in Texas. God knew that I would have been reluctant to leave my friends and family. God knew that during our transition that my faith would grow stronger as I trusted more on Him and less on others. God knew that I would lean on my husband and find again what was lost. God knew what our family needed to heal.
'More 2 Life Than Living' is a reminder to me that God uses everything to the development of our faith to glorify Him. That there is more to this life than being happy or wealthy, problem free or healthy or whatever else we can think of. Through our troubles, God is working to build the character of Jesus in us. I can look back at the past year, even my entire life and say 'thank you' God. Thank you for the suffering that opened up my heart to you. If everything was perfect, I would not have needed you. I would not have gotten to know you better. I would not have gotten to know your plan for me to be with You always. I would not have learned how to impress this upon my children so that they can see us thrive in difficult times. Thank you for showing me there is more to life than living.
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